Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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