i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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