quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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