You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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