Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it's great music for shaving your balls
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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