guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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