do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
