Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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