how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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