Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
