i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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