hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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