Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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