butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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