my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
vagina is talking i cant
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Who died my cat blue again?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
