Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
