Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

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(206): View more from Washington

I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

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(207): View more from Maine

i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(01): View more from

He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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(315): View more from New York

3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?

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(912): View more from Georgia

Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.

(323): View more from California

How did you leave without pants?

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