If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's official drugs can't kill me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD