Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.