how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.