Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.