I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
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I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.