She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home