Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.