Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.

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(219): View more from Indiana

No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers

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(509): View more from Washington

Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen

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(703): View more from Virginia

I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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(417): View more from Missouri

Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.

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