Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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