I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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