i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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