I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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