Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
