Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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