So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
