apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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