Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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