hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
