i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
