i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Randomize
