Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
