Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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