i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
