Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
