Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
