I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
