When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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