we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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