when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
