There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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