Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
handjob tips. give me some.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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