she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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