i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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