My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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