he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
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Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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