I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
