Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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