her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
