so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
