i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
