So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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