Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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