i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
