I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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