I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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