if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
