just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
