That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
