I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
