Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am mentally ready for anal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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