I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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