we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
