hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
