Well douche your snatch and let's go!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
