no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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