im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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