it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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